I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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