Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
