I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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