So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
