You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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