who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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