soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize