let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
