Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize