There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
