nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
