He had one of those small greek statue penises
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
