And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize