i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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