Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
