You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
