you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
