That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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