Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
