I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
