No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
