Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
