you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
