It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
