She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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