he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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