Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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