That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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