Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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