Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize