Ambien. No doubt about it.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Is it penis luge time yet?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
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