Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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