What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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