As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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