he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
