i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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