FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
