i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I could fuck to npr.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
