Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Randomize
