My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
