he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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