the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
