If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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