Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
