and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize