another moral hangover. fuck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
