2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
