White coat. Heels.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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