His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
