She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
