I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
