i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
