All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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