Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
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