after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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