found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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