can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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