Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I don't deserve a penis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
