are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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