Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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