Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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