about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Come on in and take your pants off
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