i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
