I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
