somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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