So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
