Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Randomize
