What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
