Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
