If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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