When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
