My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
