no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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